aslana

No, seriously, she's as close to having a child as Husband and I plan on right now, and she means the world to us. When we baby-talk to her (yes, baby-talk, don't judge me), we call each other mommy and daddy. She's very fulfilling to us.

I love her beyond, even when she's being a bitch and biting my fingers or clawing my toes. I give her food and water and try to protect her from the world while still introducing her to the dogs in the house and the people that come over.

But.

Yeah, but.

She's going through her first heat. So far, she has been much more personable than she usually is, but I know how quickly that can change. I'm fearing the 'fuck you, find something I can fuck myself on' stage. I don' think that Husband gets how annoying it can be. He makes jokes and talks about all the other cats he's seen in heat, but he's never lived with one. And, from a pheromone standing, Husband is *very* male, which means she'll love him and probably try to off me in my sleep.

Also, she's kind of creepy to have around during Husband and my more intimate moments. There are just some times that I don't want a cat trying to climb across me, you know? lol

I hate being sick. I mean, I know that it isn't fun for anyone, but it always seems like I get ill with things that just don't give enough symptoms to be 'real' or I get sick off of something that leaves me with lingering fatigue and aches.

I haven't had the flu in years, but as I write this, I know that I have my first real fever in quite a while. It isn't very much, but it hovers a few degrees higher than I can feel comfortable with. I'm sweating a little, and I feel cool to the touch, and I want to curl under a blanket, but when I do the heat is oppressive.

I'm also worried I'll get Husband ill, as he seems to be susceptible to several bad illnesses, and a small cold or infection can be a gateway. I want to do things or be up and moving, but every time I try, I just feel so worn out.

The worst thing is that I had to call out from work, which I hate to do. I feel like calling out can lead your superiors to not trust my work ethic and my ability to do the job they pay me for, neither of which is okay for me. But with a fever, I can't take the chance that I might have the flu, and risk exposing those I work with to it. Especially because the majority of people at the call center are over 45, many of them over 55. What if they get sick because I came to work?

I hate it, because all I want to do is sleep, but I'm afraid if I give into that urge to sleep that I won't be able to sleep later when I need to. I want Husband to pet me and make everything okay, but he always ends up laying on/around me, because he knows that I want to be touched, but I won't initiate it (I don't know why, it just honestly doesn't occur to me most of the time).

And to top it off, my mother-in-law, who's been out with a fucked up back, seems to be exhibiting some of my symptoms, which means that if we have the same thing, it is guaranteed to make its way through the family.

And to think, it all started with me not feeling quite right.

and had a not so pleasant visit with Murphy and his law.

I had planned on going home to visit with my family and hopefully husband's family, but of course we were already feeling tired the first day. I had a lovely time with my dad, and with my sister, and then I went home and had supper with my mom.

The next day we managed to see my mimi and pop-pop. After our time there, we took Pop-Pop to his ACTO (Alzheimer Caregiver Time-Out) group, and headed over to Sunset Cemetery to visit J's grandmother. We then went to see J's aunt and her family, before circling back to go see my sister again and get some peanuts from her. We left her house and went back to my mom's to get our stuff and got back on the road intending to leave town.

As you probably guessed, we intended to, but did not make it out of town. My mom called me and told me that my sister told her that my dad was disoriented and behaving strangely. Husband and I decided to stay a couple hours later, and within a few minutes of meeting my sister with my dad, I knew that we would have to stay at least the night.

Diagnoses so far? Stroke, TIA, diabetes, chronic hypertension, and probably general assholery now that Dad officially snuck out of the hospital for a smoke.

More to come later on this topic and the fall out.