being sick

Oct. 3rd, 2009 12:37 am
aslana: (Default)
[personal profile] aslana
I hate being sick. I mean, I know that it isn't fun for anyone, but it always seems like I get ill with things that just don't give enough symptoms to be 'real' or I get sick off of something that leaves me with lingering fatigue and aches.

I haven't had the flu in years, but as I write this, I know that I have my first real fever in quite a while. It isn't very much, but it hovers a few degrees higher than I can feel comfortable with. I'm sweating a little, and I feel cool to the touch, and I want to curl under a blanket, but when I do the heat is oppressive.

I'm also worried I'll get Husband ill, as he seems to be susceptible to several bad illnesses, and a small cold or infection can be a gateway. I want to do things or be up and moving, but every time I try, I just feel so worn out.

The worst thing is that I had to call out from work, which I hate to do. I feel like calling out can lead your superiors to not trust my work ethic and my ability to do the job they pay me for, neither of which is okay for me. But with a fever, I can't take the chance that I might have the flu, and risk exposing those I work with to it. Especially because the majority of people at the call center are over 45, many of them over 55. What if they get sick because I came to work?

I hate it, because all I want to do is sleep, but I'm afraid if I give into that urge to sleep that I won't be able to sleep later when I need to. I want Husband to pet me and make everything okay, but he always ends up laying on/around me, because he knows that I want to be touched, but I won't initiate it (I don't know why, it just honestly doesn't occur to me most of the time).

And to top it off, my mother-in-law, who's been out with a fucked up back, seems to be exhibiting some of my symptoms, which means that if we have the same thing, it is guaranteed to make its way through the family.

And to think, it all started with me not feeling quite right.

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aslana

February 2011

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